Before we get started I would just like to point out that if you don’t go read this blog you may never understand Why Women Talk To Cats.

Absurdistry is one of those rare, well written plunges into voyeurism that let us know we are still human after all. We really can’t not look at a train wreck, a parade or a cute baby in a sunny little bonnet. This artistic self exposure bares the spirit and satisfies that primal drive to observe the triumphs, pains, joys and sorrows of our fellow travelers on this absurdly provincial planet at the outer edges of the galactic proper.

Randall suffers from the desire to write. This affliction, among legion others, has plagued him for most of his life. This to the chagrin of his wealthy family, has all but consumed his life. As he searches for meaning and the Great American Novel, that must surely produce itself from the far recesses of his mind, he often finds that he must contend with the mundane matters of life. And he is shocked by the deep meaning these activities seem to reveal at every turn.

We have all heard the phrase “ants in your pants”, but i do not believe I have ever read a first hand account of some one actually having Ants In His Pants. And I know with certainty I’ve never heard of anyone having ants in their pants during a job interview by “The Board” for an unknown company that very well may have been the spear head of an alien invasion force.

If physical ailments, the curse of the desire to write and an occupation army of ants weren’t enough, The Magnetic Mattress would surely have long since sent any woman not so strong as Randall’s wife running to the arms of an attorney. But despite her sometimes disappointment with the way things seem to have come down, she is a humor-full woman who seems to be genuinely in love with the self admitted, six-foot-five mess that is Randall.

While the general practice of the peeping tom is to stand outside some other persons window and peep in, Randall has perfected his own technique of sitting inside his own window and peeping out.

If you find yourself, some sunny day, in the vicinity of the corner of Oak and 14th, check to see if a man in a black suit sits behind a coffee table in his driveway and if you should spot him, be sure to stop and Meet The Author.